What advice I can share, is simply the result of my own
meandering experience through life. You can take it as seriously, or as lightly
as you want to. I shall share that advice now.
Always appreciate what you have, no matter how little it may
seem to you. In 20 years, you may well look back at photos of yourself, and
recall in a way that is incomprehensible to you know just how much possibility
lay before you at the time, and just how fabulous you really look.
Get to know your parent’s well, you never know when they
might be gone for good. I know I didn’t. Be kind to your brothers and sister,
they’re the ones most likely to stick by you in the future and they’re the best
link you have to your past.
Know that friends will always come and go through life, save
those precious few that you should hold on to, just like they will hold onto
you.
Don’t worry about the future, because the real problems in
your life won’t be anything that ever crossed your worried mind, instead they
will be the kind of things that come out of nowhere on some quiet Thursday.
Live life to the fullest that you can, do one thing every
day that scares you a little. Don’t be careless with the hearts of those that
love you, and never put up with anyone that is careless with yours.
Your body is the most incredible instrument you will ever
own, use it every way that you can, enjoy it, don’t be afraid of it or what
other people might think of it. Dance, even if you can only do it in your own
living room.
Maybe you’ll marry the love of your life, maybe you won’t.
Maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll live to dance at your
75th wedding anniversary, maybe you’ll divorce at 30. Whatever you
do end up doing in life, don’t berate yourself too much, but don’t congratulate
yourself too much either. Every choice you make in life is half-chance, just
like everybody else’s.
Accept certain undeniable truths of life. The prices will
rise, politicians will always philander, and you too will grow old. And when
you do, you will fantasize back to when you were younger and tell stories of a
time where prices are reasonable, politicians were honest and children always
respected their elders. On that note, respect your elders.
Don’t waste time being jealous, some people are ahead of
you, and some people are behind. Life is a long race, and in the end, you’re
only running against yourself. Remember all the compliments that people pay
you, and forget all the insults. If you successfully do that, let me know how.
If you don’t know what you want to do with your life when
you’re leaving school, don’t feel guilty. Some of the most interesting people
are those who don’t know what they want to do in life.
Try your hardest to bridge the gaps that you meet in
geography and culture, especially in the world we live in now. The older you
get, the more you will need the people that you knew when you were young. Live
in the city, but leave before it makes you too hard. Live on the beach, but
leave before it makes you too soft.
[Courtesy of my dear friend James]
[Courtesy of my dear friend James]
Yesterday marked a momentous day in the lives of many of the people in my life. As an 18 year old, fresh out of school, the last thing we hold on to from our establishments are hopes of good exam results. Some come out happy, surprised by their own efforts. Those of us who are less fortunate, come out disappointed.
Those of you who know me well probably recognize my self determination. I believe it will be my downfall. I often find myself disappointed in my inability to obtain targets I set myself and I'm constantly told that I'm too hard on myself. Essentially I am my own pushy parent. You see those Asian parents, driving their kids into an early grave over academic success or the crazy pageant moms on American TV shows that go mad when their kids give up on something. That's me. For myself.
So, as you can imagine, when it came to my A-levels, I set myself crazy unrealistic goals and pushed myself beyond breaking point to achieve them. Now, when you're at school and you appear to be relatively above average, you find yourself surrounded by those of similar or greater intelligence than yourself. Now, there's a specific competitiveness that goes had in hand with intellect and, as one who strives for a superior intellect, I often find myself engaging in countless wars of wills.
I'll be the first to admit that I'm not the smartest person I know and I can also admit that these people who's knowledge is leagues above my own fill me with envy. It's not that I hate seeing people succeed, it's just that my inner dance-mom comes out and asks me why I can't be the one winning that English prize or gold diploma for the maths competition or why I didn't get picked by the chemistry teacher to participate in the Olympiad.
So flash forward to yesterday morning. 8am (I'm two hours ahead of the UK at the moment) and I'm logging in to get my results. My parents had been telling me over and over again that it didn't matter what I got, they were proud of me and I had tried my hardest. I hadn't really absorbed any of these statements because they just didn't seem to have any effect on me. It didn't matter to me that I had worked the hardest or that I should still be proud of whatever I got. I wanted good grades.
I can't really complain about what I got. The grades are good. Better than average and better than I got last year. But, because I set myself unrealistic goals, I still felt disappointed when that page loaded and the letters weren't what I had hoped for. I had no-one to blame but myself. I couldn't blame bad teaching or lack of effort any more. I had put in a solid shift over the year and the grades I got reflect the grades I should have got.
All except one. Now, I like to think of myself as above average at writing. I wouldn't be writing a blog, pursuing a career in literature and avidly reading any book that's thrown my way if I wasn't. My English grade just didn't seem to reflect my competence and understanding of the texts we studied. All of my teachers had ranked me among the highest achieving in the year group and the quiet whispers of an A* echoed around in conversations with them. Put it this way, there was no A* to be seen come results day.
I'm not petty. There's no point getting upset over it. What's been done has been done and all I can do now is accept the grade. If I can give any advice to those of you out there going through exams and results, it's this:
So flash forward to yesterday morning. 8am (I'm two hours ahead of the UK at the moment) and I'm logging in to get my results. My parents had been telling me over and over again that it didn't matter what I got, they were proud of me and I had tried my hardest. I hadn't really absorbed any of these statements because they just didn't seem to have any effect on me. It didn't matter to me that I had worked the hardest or that I should still be proud of whatever I got. I wanted good grades.
I can't really complain about what I got. The grades are good. Better than average and better than I got last year. But, because I set myself unrealistic goals, I still felt disappointed when that page loaded and the letters weren't what I had hoped for. I had no-one to blame but myself. I couldn't blame bad teaching or lack of effort any more. I had put in a solid shift over the year and the grades I got reflect the grades I should have got.
All except one. Now, I like to think of myself as above average at writing. I wouldn't be writing a blog, pursuing a career in literature and avidly reading any book that's thrown my way if I wasn't. My English grade just didn't seem to reflect my competence and understanding of the texts we studied. All of my teachers had ranked me among the highest achieving in the year group and the quiet whispers of an A* echoed around in conversations with them. Put it this way, there was no A* to be seen come results day.
I'm not petty. There's no point getting upset over it. What's been done has been done and all I can do now is accept the grade. If I can give any advice to those of you out there going through exams and results, it's this:
- Work damn hard. Nothing's handed to you on a plate. If you want to get something or go somewhere, you have to put in the effort. There's no-one out there to hold your hand and guide you step by step through life.
- Set realistic goals. Take it from someone who didn't. I'm not saying set no goals, just ones that you can actually achieve. The worst feeling in the world is bitter disappointment in yourself.
- Be happy, no matter the results.There's no point dwelling on what could've been. Getting upset about a bad result won't make it any better. Move past it, get on with your life and one day, when you're 80, you'll realise that a C in AS physics actually means fuck all and there really was no point crying at the time.
Good luck to everyone taking exams and I hope everyone got the results they wanted.
I don't believe in a god. I don't believe in karma or some supernatural force controlling the universe and everything in it. I believe that I am a human being, surrounded by billions of other human beings just like me. We're born, all with the same amount, our skin and bones. This proves problematic in my writing. I struggle to attribute 'luck' to my protagonists because I don't believe in such a thing.
I do, however, believe in the power of effort. Think of Oprah Winfrey. She was born into an underprivileged community, with little hope of excelling as an African-American woman in the deep south. She worked hard, earning herself a scholarship into Tennessee State University and going on to become the first black American TV correspondent. She didn't get all that from crossing her fingers and hoping real hard. She put in a hard graft and is now worth billions of dollars. That's right. Billions. Now, if you're seeing dollar signs right now, just hold up a second.
I do, however, believe in the power of effort. Think of Oprah Winfrey. She was born into an underprivileged community, with little hope of excelling as an African-American woman in the deep south. She worked hard, earning herself a scholarship into Tennessee State University and going on to become the first black American TV correspondent. She didn't get all that from crossing her fingers and hoping real hard. She put in a hard graft and is now worth billions of dollars. That's right. Billions. Now, if you're seeing dollar signs right now, just hold up a second.
There's no easy way of getting round the hard work. It's not like you can type in to google 'How to become a billionaire without working' and discover some coveted list of steps to earning your riches overnight. Just like all those crazy weight loss schemes you see in magazines, IT'S A SCAM.
Now, I don't want to shit on people's religious beliefs or cultures, but I strongly disagree with relying on these principles to get you what you want. I completely respect those who follow religious codes concerning morality and the such, but when it gets to the point where you're walking around with a severed rabbit's foot around your neck or celebrating when a bird takes a dump on you, I really believe you've taken it too far.
No-one is 'destined' to do anything. As the daughter of an engineer, I was told I was 'destined' to have a scientific mind. Here I am, applying for degrees in English Literature and laughing in the face of destiny. We're all born equal, the only that that raises us or lowers us in that hierarchy is our own ambition, actions and effort. Don't let others dictate your future to you and never ever take anything for granted.
