Right so I'm single. SO very very single. I can't exactly say I'm happy about it. At the start of this year, I didn't think this would be where I was at 6 months in but hey-ho, what can you do?

There is absolutely nothing pleasurable about being dumped. With an already low self esteem, nothing says 'you're worthless' like someone booting you out of their life. I can't say it's been easy to work through that without the guy I was using to support me through everything bad that's been going on, but I did it and that's an incredible achievement for me. 

Things are good now. I think he's beginning to understand I'll never not care about him. It's just my nature. If I love you, it's unconditional and no matter how dumb it sounds, there's nothing you can do to me that can change that. We're trying to be friends. I really would like him to be a part of my life and I agree with him now that we could never go back to being a couple. Too many bad words have been said to one another for that. But friends is good. I can deal with friends.

Looking forward, I think I'm getting close to being ready to get back out there. Since the break up, I haven't really thought I'd ever be able to see anybody else. There was one drunken kiss with a stranger but even that felt like cheating. Of course it wasn't, I just wasn't in the right mindset to be getting drunk in a club filled with horny boys. 

I'm not sure what I'm looking for yet but there's plenty of time to figure that out now. I'm not really the kind of gal to 'live it up' and grab the single-life bull by the horns but I know it wouldn't be right or healthy to rush back in to something as serious so quickly.