I'm not a massive fan of close families. I don't know if it's due to my general frustration at people or because mine is particularly frustrating. Even though I've lived all over the world, our family has always been ridiculously close. Living in Canada, my mum was on the phone to her sisters at least twice a day.

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that but it just doesn't work for me. I'm not the most social person in the world. I talk to one person every day. Even the people I hold dearest in my life don't normally hear from me unless they go to the effort of contacting me. It's not because I don't want to talk to them or because I can't be bothered to start a conversation with them. I simply don't remember. I can't count on two hands the number of times I've had a disgruntled phone call from my mum because she hasn't heard from me in 4 days. I love my mum with all my heart and I'm not avoiding her, I just don't really have much to talk about most days. When there's something I think she needs to know, I tell her.

There's nothing I hate more than idle small talk. I don't know if it's due to some discrete social disorder or just because I don't have the mental capacity to think of what to say on the spot. I'd much rather not talk to someone for a couple of days than force myself to talk about literally nothing with them every day.

For example, partake in a simple exercise with me. Answer a few simple questions and tell me if you think it was worth having that conversation:
1.Who was the last person you spoke to that you have a regular conversation with? Mine's my mother.
2. How long did that conversation last? The phone call was 5 minutes long
3. Did you learn any important or interesting information? Nope, she's got a joiner coming at some point in the near future.
4. Did your relationship with that person change in any way? Nope

Don't get me wrong, I love talking to my mother. I care about her life and what's happening but my chest just gets a little bit tight when my phone rings at the same time every nigh tand I have to think of things that have happened in my day to tell my mum about. Then she ends up getting angry at me   because she thinks I'm being grumpy and uninterested. Sorry mum, I love you.

Every family is different and I've learned recently that it's impossible to assume someone's family situation based on your own. My relationship with my parents is less of a mother-daughter relationship and more of a mutual understanding between equals. I may not show them the respect they deserve 100% of the time, but in return, they don;t treat me with the nurture I need 100% of the time. I've grown up building my own protections up, instead of relying on mummy and mummy mollycoddling me.

Families are difficult and most people wish at some point or anther that they were in a different one. Believe me, I wished countless times for a picket fence family. But the older we get, the more we realise, that the families we're stuck with are the reason we are who we are today. Childhood isn't perfect but I wouldn't be the person I am today without the family around me moulding me into the young woman I am today.