I don't cry. It's not a pride thing, I simply don't feel the need to expel tears from my face when something upsets me. Growing up, my parents always saw it as me holding in my emotions and not sharing with them. They thought it was unhealthy and I thought there was something wrong with me. I very rarely show any extreme emotions on public and, it takes a lot for me to open up in private. I don't tell people things, not because I don't trust them, but because I don't see the point. If they can't help me with something, they don't need to know.

I cried yesterday. Not a lot, just a few solemn tears. I wasn't wailing and there wasn't snot everywhere. It was graceful. I cried for my grandmother. She's struggled with illness for the last 5 years of her life. At the grand old age of 85, she passed away, surrounded by family and she's finally at peace. Although sad, as a family we're more relieved than anything else. We've watched her deteriorate over time and, knowing her to be the woman she is, we all agreed she didn't deserve to struggle the way she did.

I want to introduce you to someone. This is Margaret Baird, but I called her Nana and that teeny little baby is me. This woman is hands down the most influential person to my upbringing. My Nana raised me from infancy. When my parents broke up, my mum couldn't look after my sister and I so she had to find someone to help out. Nana was there. We were raised with my cousin, Emma as practically sisters and I have unnumerable memories of her little flat and her huge personality. It's my Nana that taught me kindness and selflessness. She was always there when you needed a hug and she always listened to the crazy stories I would blather on and on about. She didn't care if I was quiet or if I was smart. She was proud of everything I did, praising me and loving me no matter what.

Our family are incredibly, if not uncomfortably close. We tell each other everything and I see at least one aunt or cousin or nephew every other day. Even though I've lived all over the world, travelling on holidays to fantastical, exotic places. I've never felt happier than when I was in my Nana's flat, surrounded by family, sitting on the lap of this wonderful woman. I know we exaggerate when we're grieving and people come away with nonsense about how this person was the most amazing this of the kindest that but I don't want to do that. May Nana was an inspirational character, always full of love and affection and there's nothing more to say about it. I loved her with all my heart because she taught me how to love and, although she is gone now, she's in a better place.

I'm not a religious person but I do truly believe that she'll be watching down on me. I always dreamt of her walking me down the aisle at my wedding. It was a little unrealistic, she turned 86 this year. But now I'm sure that, when I do walk down the aisle, she'll be right there by my side, holding my hand through all the hardships I have in life.